Good sport

Last night, Grandpa and I went to Unity to watch Griffin play one of his last basketball games. He’s one of 2 seniors that stuck it out all four years. They started as freshmen with 15 players. He’s not the “star” of the team. There are a couple juniors and a sophomore who start, leaving Griffin to be the 6th man. He’s on the bench most of the game, but will go in for a few minutes to give the other guys a break. He’s the guy who claps and cheers and high-fives his teammates. He goes to practice, plays hard, and listens to the coach. At 5’9″, he accepted a long time ago that he wouldn’t be the star of his team. He didn’t want to quit, although it had to have been tempting. He’s put in a lot of hours, and I imagine he’ll be glad when the season ends. He has other things to focus on. He’s ready to go to college. He’s a finalist for the Presidential Scholarship. Griff did really well on his ACT, and is looking toward his future. My sister and I have fun at the games. I say things to keep it in perspective, but mostly just funny things because we know in a few months, high school basketball will be just a memory. For some, it will be the best it ever was. We sat behind the team last night, where I enjoyed watching the coach get out of sorts and throw his arms around and yell. Luckily he didn’t yell at Griffin. My sister does not appreciate the yelling. It’s easier when it’s not your own kid. It doesn’t take long to see the personalities of each player.  There is one player that stands out. I like watching him play. I watched him talking to Griffin on the bench. His dad played college ball. I can only imagine the pressure he’s been under his whole life to live up to that. He may get to play at the junior college level. There’s another hot shot on the team. He’s a gunner, and he takes the ball to the basket. Every. Time. The problem is that he doesn’t make it every time. Then he throws a fit when he’s benched. The coach got down in his face, put his hand gently on his face and coddled him. “I haven’t seen this attitude from you in a long time. Look at the score.” They were winning by at least 30 points. I looked at Jana, “Let the other kids play.” That’s not how it works, and I knew it. Sure enough, within 1 minute, the Attitude was back in the game. The coach called a time-out to yell at his starters. They were fighting with each other. They needed to pull it together. NOW!” I looked at Jana. “Put Griffy in. He has a good attitude…” Then the coach commenced to yell at the bench about how the starting 5 needed to pull it together. I’m sure a lot of people look back with fond memories of high school sports. Those screaming coaches had their utmost respect. Best years of their life. For some people, I’m afraid it is. It shouldn’t be. Griffin was the first to jump up and shake hands with the other team. The coach has told Griffin that he’s a leader on the team. I told Jana that maybe the coach will give him a leadership award. She kind of giggled, “yeah right.” As I watched the Attitude move Griffin over a seat so he’d be next to the coaches who immediately started patting him and coddling him, I leaned over to my sister. “You know, this shows and says a lot about what kind of a man Griffin will be. One of the other mothers has commented that Griffin might not start, but he’s in National Honor Society. Her son is a starting sophomore, and she knows how frustrated Jana must be. After the game, Griffin came up to thank us for coming to his game. It was our pleasure. He played hard when given a chance, and even though he wasn’t the star of the team, I got to see qualities far more valuable…

Remission

Jake’s graft vs. host disease appears to be in remission. They are reducing his prednisone from 24 mg to 16 mg for 4 days and then to 8 mg. Anyone who has been on a higher dose of prednisone for an extended amount of time, knows how thankful we all are. It’s a nasty drug, but it has also been life saving. Jake has certainly felt the effects. His face is so swollen and red. He had nerve pain in his lower legs this weekend. He was quick to get angry the other day. These are all things I blame on the drug. But we do what we have to do. They had to get the graft vs. host under control. Thank goodness they understand what to do. Molly’s cells were attacking his liver. This may not be the only time this happens, but for now, it seems to be ok. On a positive note, it means that Molly’s cells have taken over. The transplant has been a success. Jake’s chances of getting leukemia again are now cut in half. We won’t know the long term effects of the prednisone, chemo, or the other drugs he’s taken for the past 3 years. There’s a chance he could develop another type of cancer. Hopefully his new immune system will destroy the bad cells. There is a chance he’ll have to have a hip replaced because of the massive amounts of prednisone he was given. But for now, we’ll take that things are good. His classes have been challenging, but he’s hanging in there. He’s still working a few hours at Kroger, and he hangs out with friends when he can. He wants to move out, be a normal 20 year old. He’s handled things remarkably. He’s had a lot of bad stuff handed to him in a short period of time, but he’s so hopeful. He has seen his new immune system work for him. Ironically Molly is very sick right now. She has a fever, chills, sore throat. She regrets not getting the flu shot. I asked her and reminded her several times. I should have drug her in like I did Jake. I had the flu shot, but was sicker after Christmas than I had been in years. Dave was too. So far Jake has been spared. Hopefully he’ll get back to feeling good again quickly, and the prednisone’s effects will wear off as well. This summer he wants to go somewhere. Anywhere. We’ll plan to make that happen, and we’ll plan to help him get back to school full time. Maybe by his 21st birthday, he’ll be living the life he chooses…

School of Choice

There has been a lot of uproar since Trump named his Secretary of Education. It is scary. Change is always scary, but educators dedicated to their job, flow with the changes, or they get out. I believe her changes could lead to an even greater number of people not wanting to become educators. People are worried about school of choice. They aren’t worried they will lose their job, but they are concerned by some of the problems they know will incur. Here’s one small example. A person I know called me yesterday to tell me about her week. 2 families had left their school. It’s not a public school. It’s a school where some families value the Christian education their children will receive, but it’s also a school of choice. A school where some families go because they have had issues with the public school. The 2 junior high boys had been in trouble before this year for behavioral issues. Nothing too serious, but enough to go see the principal. The P.E. teacher became rightfully frustrated with them the other day. He made some comments that he should not have made including something to the effect, “I wish it were back in the days when the nuns could smack their hands with rulers…” Oh how some educators miss the days of the paddle. When I was in first grade, I was swatted by the water fountain for messing around. She had one of those paddles that had had a red ball attached by elastic, and she grabbed my arm and swatted me mid-step, shooing me scornfully back to class. It didn’t hurt; I’d been spanked before. I was embarrassed. I doubt I told my parents because I didn’t want it again at home. One time in the second grade, I screamed and yelled during P.E. that the teacher was a cheater. I wasn’t the only one yelling, but my voice resonated. When I got home, I was greeted with a note card and a pen. “You will write a letter of apology!” This time, in this school of choice, it was different. The principal was informed that the teacher had threatened their child, and their child was afraid to return to school. OK, first of all, bullshit. Secondly, the child liked nothing more than to antagonize the P.E. teacher. What are you going to do about this? I demand an apology from the teacher. You must insure my child is going to be safe… Before an investigation could even begin, the phone calls and emails from other concerned parents started rolling in. Before anything could be resolved, the parents allowed the kid to stay home (for his own safety). Then they announced they were going to re-visit the public school. (The school they had fled before. This was their second return to this particular school of choice.) They kept demanding the apology. What about an apology for their kid’s behavior?  My child would never do that! My baby feels threatened and now embarrassed!”  Again, the kid didn’t come to school. By the end of the day, 2 families (a total of 6 kids) had been withdrawn from their school of choice.  The younger siblings didn’t even know what hit them. Pulled away from the comfort of their class, friends, routines. Nothing has been gained. The child has learned nothing, and mommy and daddy will pull you out of any uncomfortable situation. There will continue to be situations, and it will never be their fault. They will never learn the tools or skills to deal with an uncomfortable situation. My former principal once said that the average student nowadays will switch careers an average of 7 times. Not jobs, but careers. Is this a reflection of, when things get tough, we just run away? So with school of choice, might education be disrupted constantly by families jumping from school to school? We’re too soft. Trust me, I want nothing more than to fix my kids’ problems, but they’ve had to figure some things out on their own and deal with it. Yesterday Ellie, our gentle Golden, got a hold of a paper towel. She was tearing it apart. The puppy tried to take it from her, and she snapped at her. I’d never heard Ellie get mad like that. It surprised me. I almost intervened, but I just watched. The puppy backed off. She quietly and submissively just watched Ellie tear apart her paper towel. Was the puppy’s feelings hurt? Probably. Was the puppy embarrassed? Maybe? Did the puppy feel threatened? Sure. Did she worry that her life was in danger? Not at all. She learned a lesson of life though. Later they were wrestling and playing tug-of-war with a sock. They were friends again and everything was right despite me not getting involved…