Someone knows

Drug abuse has been getting a lot of attention in our small town. We have a new sheriff, and weekly drug arrests are on the rise. It brings up discussion. Many are thrilled the police are cracking down; others are upset when the offenders seem to get off with no consequences. Mothers want their children to go to rehab, not jail. Others have buried their babies…the community wants the drug abuse to end. It is horrible, but sadly not a  new problem. We point fingers at each other trying to place blame. We’re too late. These drug addictions did not begin yesterday.  Why did they start at all? Boredom, coolness, escape from pain? Chances are they first used alcohol. Maybe in the 4th grade, maybe in the 8th grade, definitely in high school. For some it wasn’t enough. They inhaled, smoked, ingested, snorted and potentially injected other drugs – with their friends. There were warning signs. You caught them in lies. You didn’t  like their new friends. You fought…a lot. They probably stole from you. You eventually had to bail them out of jail. By then it was way out of control. They have done the unthinkable to get high. Your daughter has prostituted herself to feed her habit. You talk them into a rehabilitation program, but you cannot make them stay. The truth is this started many years ago. Many years ago. You didn’t see it. You were possibly in denial. By age 3, children learn how to lie to their parents. They have already learned how to manipulate you to get their way. They cried, and you picked them up. They learned. The biggest mistake a parent can make is to believe their child won’t lie to them. The other mistake is to believe everything your child says. Your child’s friends know what is going on. Chances are so do their teachers. One of them might actually make the mistake of telling you what they know. You say you want to know, but you don’t really. You are mad and angry that so and so would suggest your child would do something like that. When you confront your child, they reassure you that it isn’t true. You are relieved. You now avoid that horrible person who suggested your child did something wrong, dangerous or illegal. They don’t like your child. They are probably jealous. Trust me. Someone knew a long time ago that your child was in trouble. Someone might have even tried to tell you. You may have even known yourself.  The time to stop addiction is before it starts. If you have children, educate yourself. We have access to information. Don’t rely on the schools to prevent drug abuse. If someone tries to tell you something they’ve heard about your child, listen. Get them help immediately. You may fail, more than once. There is no evil like drug addiction. Someone knows what’s going on, but we don’t have the guts to tell you…

Wishes

Jake is bald. I was looking at his head today. There’s a pretty good scar from an ice skating accident in the 5th grade. It was stitched up in the ER. They didn’t do a very good job, probably thought it would never show. There are a couple of disc shaped objects under his skin. It is the ventricular shunt they put in January 9th, 2015. I could feel it before, but now I can see it. There is a decent sized, semi-circular scar where they lifted up the scalp to place the shunt. If he ever has male patterned baldness,  it will be visible. His spine is very pronounced. He is 143 pounds.  There are 4 scars from the lung biopsy and an abdominal scar where the pump drains into nowhere specific. He literally has no calf muscles left. He walks slowly and was given a cane to steady himself. He decided using the cane was harder than he thought. He walked for 6 minutes. He was glad, but longs to ride his skateboard. He has come back from this twice before…he’s asking me questions about things that he has been dreaming about. His dreams are vivid, realistic. He will fall asleep instantly. His body twitches and jerks. Sometimes he reaches out and talks. It would scare the hell out of us, but when he wakes up, he’s there. He talks and thinks normally. Yes, this is the 3rd time that he has been broken down, starved, drugged, pumped with medications with frightening side effects.  You can do it, Jake. You can regain your strength, your balance, your cognizance.  Your hair will grow again, your muscles and strength will return. Maybe this latest treatment with take away the neuropathy pain in your toes. You rated the pain a 2.  That in itself is a blessing. Within a year, you will stop taking the drugs fighting the infection in your lung, the prophylactic antibiotics, antiviral and antifungal won’t be needed, your body won’t reject the transplanted cells and the immune suppressants can be tapered off. Hopefully the pain medicines will be gone, no more pills! No more weeks in the hospital. Your sister’s cells, God willing, will find their way into your marrow and will thrive, providing you with a new healthy immune system. And you will look and feel normal. You will be back at school, beautiful,  healthy and happy…