Yesterday, after two long, worrisome weeks, Jake withdrew from college and moved home. It was too much, too soon. The university did everything they could, but for now, this was our only feasible choice. It will be ok. Mom, I’m just so tired. We couldn’t find his car keys yesterday, and it was probably a good thing. He slept most of the way home. He slept all afternoon, evening and morning. He feels like he’s getting a head cold. It’s pretty typical this time of the year, and I know a lot of people are suffering. This might possibly be Jake’s first cold. We’ll see if his new immune system can keep it at bay. In the past, he was missing that first line of defense against viruses. Other parts of his immune system had to step up, but it was to do a job that wasn’t really theirs- they were confused and not as effective. So Jake’s colds always ended up in his lungs as pneumonia. His dorm was cold and damp. Even though it’s been a hot fall, he would wrap up in a blanket at his computer desk. I had noticed his pills were damp. A couple of his capsules had melted. I questioned if he had spilled something on them. Their beds felt wet when they went to sleep at night (they have air conditioning), and Jake couldn’t get warm. As much as he wanted to return to a normal life after two years, it just wasn’t time. Maybe living in a dorm will never be an option. He will explore other options soon. He may take a class or two online to ease back into it. My heart is broken, but we will get through this. I thought I would sleep well knowing he was home, but I tossed and turned well past midnight. Nothing is worse than not being able to fix this. Molly wants him to come to her school. It’s 2 and 1/2 hours in the wrong direction from the hospital. Maybe someday, he can check it out. His roommates are going to leave his bed just as it is so he can come stay on the weekends. That’s the hardest part for me. I want him to be with his friends having the time of his life. On the other hand, nothing is more stressful than college classes and living in college housing especially after everything Jake has been through. It stinks, it’s not fair, but for him it was a second chance at life. It will just be different for Jake…not impossible, just different.

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