Molly and I went to an Honors’ reception at a Big Ten school last spring. They were trying to sell their program. I looked around me. I assumed Molly would go to college here, but I couldn’t imagine it. Molly had gone off with a group, and I hoped she’d hear things that would cement her decision to go 1 hour away from home. I was stuck with the Helicopters. I looked around thinking I might see an old friend from college or someone I knew. I was already bored with the presentation. They were using studying abroad as their big ticket item to join their program. Hands started going up. My daughter is pre med, blah, blah, blah…My son has been offered the (insert big name scholarship name here)…. My daughter wants to triple major… ok folks, we’re all special here. A lot of kids start out pre med. Here’s how we can help your kid. Still selling. My daughter is a Kosher vegan… go to the website. All questions concerning our food service can be found there. Apparently that didn’t sink in. My son likes to bake, can the dorms accommodate his blossoming talent? Again, go to our website. My daughter has food allergies. What if my son doesn’t like his dorm? Ok Helicopters, let’s talk about the special dorm your student can stay in if he/she joins our Honors’ program. There’s a waiting list, but it’s a great place. Someone on the panel pulls out a cell phone. There are over 30 different special dietary needs that are met daily in all of our food services. Other accommodations can be made. Did we mention that we have a relationship with 99 countries where your special babies can study abroad? There are 99 countries; we are especially proud of the number of countries where your student can study abroad. A hand goes up. My daughter is interested in the study abroad program. What if the country she wants to go to isn’t one of the 99? Can you make arrangements with other countries?  I took a break from my lemon bar. In my mind, I took the microphone. Ok Helicopters, listen up. This is an Honors’ reception. This is not a dorm tour. This is not an informational meeting about food service. All of our fabulous babies are pre med at this point. Do you not understand the point of this panel? So for the 1 question concerning the study abroad opportunities, tell Princess to get over herself.  If Baby can’t find one country out of the 99 offered, then Baby might have to just go with the flow!  In reality, I went to the restroom. Later Molly told me that the thought of having 500 kids in her Chemistry class literally made her want to throw up. I couldn’t argue. That special, warm fuzzy feeling wasn’t there for either of us. I was sad she wouldn’t be an hour from home, but completely understood how she felt. When she got her schedule and realized she has 8:00 classes everyday, I asked her if she wanted Mommy to call the university and get it changed.  We giggled, but I wondered how many Helicopters were picking up the phone…

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