Scrapbook

Molly just texted me to see if I would take a picture of an old picture in a photo album and text it to her. I will try… “Thanks, girl”… that was her response to me, “Thanks, girl!” Well thank you Molly for having me dig out that old scrapbook. The cover is barely hanging on. One of the dogs nearly destroyed it after it was left out one day. The pictures were fine. I remember struggling with my feelings about pictures and my scapbooks. It got to the point where I avoided taking pictures because I knew the work involved in the scrapbook process. It was a brillant concept, and I bought all the right equipment, but I grew tired of trying to out do my prior creative memories. They have brought a lot of joy and memories for the kids . Now we have collections on our phones. I still envy people with fancy cameras who capture every moment. I remember the piles of photos that I finally threw away because they were duplicates and out of focus. I remember reading somewhere and passing the advice to my sister, you don’t need 10 pictures of the same shot. One will suffice. I wish I would have been more diligent about pictures as the kids got older. I am forever thankful that we had Jake’s Senior pictures taken 2 weeks before he became critically ill. He hasn’t looked the same in over 2 years now. I guess I was staring at him earlier when he was eating. Mom, quit analyzing my face. I think I was concentrating more on him taking another bite. I think he might have thrush. We go Monday back to the doctor. It’s been a long 2 weeks since he’s been home. Especially this week. Molly was able to go with a friend and her family to the ocean. We used to go every spring break. Jake wants to go to the opposite coast or Hawaii.  We will Jake. As soon as we can, we will go wherever you want. I was reading what I had written by his 5th birthday picture. You had pneumonia from Halloween until Thanksgiving…. We knew something wasn’t right even back then. It wasn’t normal. His immune deficiency wasn’t even identified back then. The doctor said they would have chalked it up to “bad luck” hoping he would outgrow it. I sometimes wish that he could have had the stem cell transplant earlier in life. But then it would have been the bone marrow transplant that we’ve all heard about. The painful, brutal, literal transplant that now has become so much easier. He’s getting ready to go to the movie with some friends. It makes me nervous and happy at the same time. Maybe I’ll make them pose for a picture before they leave…

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