Stand still…

I need the summer to stop 3 days ago when there was no humidity, and it was bearable outside. I don’t know how long I want time to stand still. Long enough for Jake to recuperate would be nice. I am hoping he can go back to school after Labor Day, but I’m not sure if he’ll be strong enough. But there is something else looming over us at the end of summer. Molly will be going off to college. Not just off to college, 30 hours away from home, off to college. I’m happy, thrilled, proud, and excited for her, but sad for myself. I’m sure Dave feels the same way. Today I booked a flight and a motel room. Molly and I will drive across the country. We will stop about halfway and stay with family, and we will arrive at her college August 19th. I will fly home the 21st. It’s not been long enough. 18 years isn’t long enough.  Our lives will change forever. Eighteen years ago, we had Molly, moved into our house, and Dave started a new job all within 6 weeks. Those first six weeks, Molly would not sleep anywhere but on my chest. I don’t know how we did it. We were younger. We were so busy, the time just flew. I’m thankful for the time I’ve spent with Jake the past two years, but sorry for the time I missed with Molly. She’s funny, witty and smart. I love to hear her giggle. I’ve always been in awe of her wisdom. Even in the first grade, she was funny and wise. I know her being able to go is a good reflection on us. The last thing I want is my child to be co-dependent on me. I’m envious that she has the guts to do something I never had the courage to do. We joke that I will move out there too. It’s not really a funny joke. Dave and Molly both are concerned that I won’t be able to handle it. Somehow, like every other parent, I will adjust, but for right now, for just a little bit, I want time to stand still…

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