The Light…

Jake’s numbers were so good today, we were told we could go home! We can have blood checked at a nearby hospital and go back to see his doctor in two weeks. I packed up that apartment and loaded the car so fast, I couldn’t wait to get home. Dr. N. shook Jake’s hand and said, “You’re my hero, Jake. I’m so fortunate to know you.”  We kind of giggle when he gets sentimental like that, and Jake doesn’t really feel all that special. It’s hard for him to wrap his head around everything. He couldn’t believe how green everything looked as we drove home. I called my sister in the car to tell her the great news, and Jake started crying. I think it is a mixture of emotions. He doesn’t like all the attention- he doesn’t feel like it’s deserved. There are lots of sick people. Jake, in a world where we see so much bad- the news is full of horrible things. Our presidential candidates are Clinton and Trump. We feel defeated or hopeless sometimes. But for people to know you or to hear your story, it gives them faith. It reminds them that God is Great. It gives us hope. It makes people feel good… He is hopeful. He’s a little sad. He feels like he’s missed two years. Jake, you’re lucky. The people who have survived with your immune deficiency usually don’t get cancer until in their 30’s. You could have spent the next decade in and out of the hospital. You might have a career, wife, kids and a mortgage. I want him to try to find anything positive in his situation possible. Life isn’t fair for any of us. No one ever said it was. I used to be more negative and pessimistic. I’m not sure what changed in my 20’s, but it did. Maybe it was teaching junior high. It wasn’t easy, and I didn’t always like it, but maybe it opened my eyes. I learned to be kind and compassionate. I learned empathy and how to listen. I realized it wasn’t always about me. I met people facing challenges that I couldn’t even imagine. I learned a lot about myself. I know teaching made me a better parent. So for Jake, I have not taken the time to be bitter or sad. I have only held onto hope and looked for the light at the end of the tunnel. I will do everything I can to help him also see the light. He mentioned something about his own future kids. He is hopeful. Life is too short and precious to dwell on the negatives. We keep moving forward. We are blessed…

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