Bittersweet

Sunday night, at midnight, I found myself at my kitchen table with my daughter and 3 of her childhood friends. We had a wonderful talk and covered many topics like we had many times in the past. This time was a little bittersweet. They realize soon they will all 4 be in different cities. They are excited, nervous and a little scared, and they know they will miss each other. They want to make the most of this summer. They came to the realization that they need to put each other first, not a boy. I am proud of their wisdom. I was not so wise. I based my own self worth on having a boyfriend. Many of us make that same mistake. I was probably close to 30 before I really appreciated the value of having girlfriends. At one of my bff’s wedding, 11 years ago, I made a toast. Just when the bride was expecting me to mention her,  I toasted my husband. It was totally off the cuff; I hadnt planned to say it. It went something like this- and lastly, I want to thank my husband. A few years ago, some would have said I had it all- a career, a husband, a child, a home, but I was missing something very important. I didn’t have a best friend. Lisa came along, and I want to thank my husband for understanding and allowing me to have her. We chatted on the phone, went shopping, decorated her new home. I spent a lot of time with her, and he was ok with it. He knew it made me a better person to have her in my life. Later I fixed her and her husband up on a blind date and we double dated. Now my daughter babysits for her boys. I didn’t know how to be a good friend when I was younger. I would blow off my friends in a second to see my boyfriend. The person who should have been my bff for life works in the adjoining hospital to where I’ve been the past 2 years with my son. She only walked over once to see us. It was awkward. I blame myself. I’m proud that my daughter has been a good friend to her friends since preschool. She has a wide variety of friends, and she is seldom alone. She has learned to love herself without a guy to depend on. She will meet new friends, but she will forever cherish her childhood friends. I imagine a few of them will remain close no matter where they live. I have a lot of friends, and I have been able to rekindle a relationship with another old friend that again should have been nurtured and protected over the years. I am thankful for our class reunions to allow me to see some of these dear people. No matter where you are or who you meet, there will always be a special bond with those childhood friends….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *