Flo rida

I’ll never forget the day one summer at the Paddle Club. The girls were in the pool having a great time; the moms were visiting; it was a beautiful day. Then all the girls seemed to suddenly stop and break into song. “I kissed a girl, and I liked it.” Who was this? Katy Perry. Never heard of her – she’s an idiot. Stop singing this song. That’s not even funny. Aside from that song, I ended up being a Katy Perry fan, and she ended up being a mega star. Later we had a group of girls at a summer camp. Shush girl, shush your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips. Omg! One mom suggested the song was about rape. I didn’t know, but I knew enough as they sang every lyric in the back of my van. One day my sister was singing the lines from another popular song. Do you even know what that song is about? S and M…kinky sex…her eyes popped open. I’ve never been one to focus on the lyrics until my 5th grade baby girl was belting them out. One day Molly and I were shopping. “Mom, can I get some Apple Bottom jeans?” Depends, where do you get them and how much? “I think they have them at Justice.” We walked in and were greeted by 3 young salesclerks. Do you have Apple Bottom jeans? They looked at each other. For my daughter- I pointed at Molly. I’m sure it’s some trendy thing her friends all have. I’m not going to pay a fortune for them. If you don’t have them, do you know where we can find them ? I assumed it was a brand like Pink, Ugg or Hollister. Two of the girls looked at each other, shifted nervously, one of them smiled.  They nodded in agreement as to whom would tell me what needed to be said.  “Apple Bottom is not a brand. I don’t know if any jean is even marketed as ‘apple bottom’.  It’s a thing.” I looked at her, confused. She kind of made a hand gesture in an attempt to make it a visual. It’s a shape of a body part.  Your daughter definitely doesn’t have an apple bottom. You don’t have an apple bottom. She was struggling. The other 2 were trying to hold it together. One of them finally asked, “Where did you even hear of it?” I looked at Molly. A song. Shawty’s got her apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur, the dance floor is looking at her…they no longer could contain their laughter. One of them finally spelled it out a little plainer using more hand gestures. “You know a booty- a big booty. It’s a hip-hop song. It finally became clear to me. I still occasionally hear that song, which is pretty catchy, with the Reebok ‘ s with the straps, and I giggle about the first time Molly actually asked me for a certain type of clothes…oh Molly…

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